Love

Love is a funny thing.
Its funny how we're programmed to want it and its funny how we like to see it in action and its funny how it happens and its funny how there are so many different types of love.
The doting kind.
The vicious kind.
The warm n' fuzzy kind.
The calm kind.
I am a loving person, sometimes to a fault. The last boy I was in love with abused it--because he knew he could--and now I am frankly, kind of afraid of love. Which sort of sucks, if I'm being honest, because it feels dangerous to me now and I still feel as if I can't recognize a situation that is dangerous to me emotionally before it happens. I'm writing this post mostly to verbalize the fact that when I woke up this morning, I woke up sad, because a part of me got deeply deeply invested in someone, in a relationship, that I don't even know how to make work. Its confusing. Another thing that's kind of confusing bewildering to me are the stigmas. We're all going to married to our one true loves by the time we're 25 and havin' babies created from that pure total love by 28? What? Cause, seroiusly, what the fuck, where did that timeline come from? And when did it become the norm? Is that why divorce rates are so high these days? Cause people get to twenty four, suddenly the pressures on? Find a partner, get married, buy a house, have a baby, have a high powered job on the side, health insurance, home insurance, car insurance, property taxes, retirement to some shit hole like Tuscaloosa and then...die? Live out your golden years in a nursing home?
Its fuckin' scary ya'll.
Love is some scary shit. Partially because I know I'll never settle and partially because I know that I'll fight tooth and nail to keep someone if I'm in love with them, and partially because my little heart hurts. My little heart would like to have a nice break and go to the beach and never fall into the dangerous sea of love again.
My, what a ramble.
Some interesting things to ponder though.
Have a good day my loves.
~Maren