HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE. 

Guys, today is my most loyal blog-reader's birthday. She also happens to be one of my best friends.

She's, y'know, amazing. 

Neena. I figured there was no better birthday card than a blogpost and I can't tell you how many times I've re-written this. You're beautiful and hilarious and smart and witty and such a good friend and I can't even begin to express how happy I am to have you in my life.

I love you a million times over and I cannot wait to have icecream cake with you when you're back from Italy. 

(#neenamarenlucyiannn)

Bappy hirfday. I love you. 

~Maren

Late nights.
Good friends.
Yellow lillies.
My love language is touch and there just aren't better days than the ones when I am dancing. 

Love

Love is a funny thing.
Its funny how we're programmed to want it and its funny how we like to see it in action and its funny how it happens and its funny how there are so many different types of love.
The doting kind.
The vicious kind.
The warm n' fuzzy kind.
The calm kind.
I am a loving person, sometimes to a fault. The last boy I was in love with abused it--because he knew he could--and now I am frankly, kind of afraid of love. Which sort of sucks, if I'm being honest, because it feels dangerous to me now and I still feel as if I can't recognize a situation that is dangerous to me emotionally before it happens. I'm writing this post mostly to verbalize the fact that when I woke up this morning, I woke up sad, because a part of me got deeply deeply invested in someone, in a relationship, that I don't even know how to make work. Its confusing. Another thing that's kind of confusing bewildering to me are the stigmas. We're all going to married to our one true loves by the time we're 25 and havin' babies created from that pure total love by 28? What? Cause, seroiusly, what the fuck, where did that timeline come from? And when did it become the norm? Is that why divorce rates are so high these days? Cause people get to twenty four, suddenly the pressures on? Find a partner, get married, buy a house, have a baby, have a high powered job on the side, health insurance, home insurance, car insurance, property taxes, retirement to some shit hole like Tuscaloosa and then...die? Live out your golden years in a nursing home?
Its fuckin' scary ya'll.
Love is some scary shit. Partially because I know I'll never settle and partially because I know that I'll fight tooth and nail to keep someone if I'm in love with them, and partially because my little heart hurts. My little heart would like to have a nice break and go to the beach and never fall into the dangerous sea of love again.
My, what a ramble.
Some interesting things to ponder though.
Have a good day my loves.
~Maren

I love making goals. Its one of my favorite things to do. Last year, on my birthday, I decided to make a 15 before 16 list (inspired by IJustMightExplode) and it looks like this:

Fifteen Before Sixteen List:
1. Bake a loaf of bread
2. Develop the film I have
3. Go back packing with Mom
4. Try a week without animal products
5. Have a pretty party
6. Learn how to crochet
7. Make redred
8. Frame and re-hang everything on the walls in my room
9. Take a new dance class
10. Learn to play an instrument
11. Volunteer at Brother Wolf
12. Go see a live concert
13. Buy a Polaroid
14. Take a yoga class
15. Dance at Riverfalls


I still have a few left, evidently, but I think the summer will be the perfect time to cross some of these off the list. I'm already planning on trying swing and tango this summer, and, dream come true, a family friend is lending me a banjo so I can learn how to play. I cannot tell you how excited I am. 
Summer is so clooosseeee (I have the bug bites and final exams to prove it), and I'm itching to make new goals. I have summer goals (save dollas, 16 days, mend an old friendship), and I've been thinking even more about long term goals, so I thought I'd write some out on here.

The Five Year Goal List

Visit West Africa for {at least} a month 
Make a quilt 
Go to a yoga ashram
Take a pottery class
Kiss the Blarney Stone in Ireland 
Visit India 
Learn how to play the piano 
Learn how to make really good soup 
Go to Hawaii
Go to Coachella
Go to Austin City Limits
Go to Bonnaroo
Go to Shakori Music Festival
Go to MerleFest
See a Broadway Show
Do a cross country roadtrip
Live abroad for at least six months


This list will inevitably grow, but this is a good start I think. 
I hope you're Monday's have been as good as they possibly could day, and if they haven't, well, here's something to make it a little brighter: I Believe In a Thing Called Love
Love,
Maren
 
  

North Carolina--vote against bigotry.

l.i.f.e.g.o.e.s.o.n

Glenis and I. Photo credit to Micah Mackenzie.

Ya'll, spoken word....its so good.
Today is one of those days where I have stupidly important things to do (like...study for finals...ugh...), and all I really want is to make a cup of tea and listen to some spoken word. Honestly, the only thing that is keeping me buried in the textbook is the promise that this time next weekend?
I will be at LEAF.
Dancing, laughing, singing, sweating, dancing some more, listening to music, swimming, eating, cuddling, dancing, ziplining, smiling.
Its going to be SO GOOD. I can feel it in mah bones.
Alright.
Time to turn up the music and get back to work.

NomNomNom

Dear homemade bread, you are so delicious.
        This year, my main New Year's resolution was to bake a loaf of bread every month, and take a picture of it, to make sure that I did it. Most people make resolutions to lose weight, I make resolutions to make (and eat) more bread. Happy happy joy joy. Anyhow, here's February's loaf. I was cuttin' it a little close to the wire, today being the 26th, and February only have 29 days this year. I know, I live dangerously. Its how I roll.
        This loaf ended up being amazing, although not exactly how I was expecting. And gosh darnit I didn't achieve the window pane (if you're not a baking nerd, check it here). Possibly I kneaded to long before testing? Not sure. I used this recipe, from the Pioneer Woman, and used rosemary. SO GOOD.
        Even my mom who eats like, nuts n' lettuce n' shit all the time ate four pieces. Four my friends. We ain't foolin' around.
I am listening to this, I am hopefully adopting one of these, and I am happy.
Goodnight lovelies, see you soon with hopefully many stories,
Hope your Sunday was the best,
Maren

A Struggle With Perfection

This may be a semi-heavy post.
       For a long time, Ive struggled with the idea of perfection. Yeah yeah, nobody's perfect, kumbaya, whatever. I wanted to be perfect. When I was a tiny, I was the first baby girl, the new addition to the family--in short I was somewhat spoiled rotten. And because of this I just believed that perfect was what I was and perfect was what I was meant to be. At everything. Always.
     This mentality is not so conducive to real life my friends.
     Lately I feel like I have been in a struggle to accept that around me, there are people who are really hardworking as well as really talented, and I haven't reached their level yet. I have been especially conscious of how that affects me when its something that I love deeply as well. Dance, photography, collaging, what have you. It strikes me that sometimes when I see other people's art, I get really defensive, or threatened, and maybe a wee bit jealous. Something to think about for sure.
     I am trying to turn this into inspiration, or admiration, as opposed to all those icky negative feelings hiding inside my ego. Any thoughts? And now, I'm off to check on my bread that I've been baking, which is going to be a topic of an upcoming post! Love you all,
~Maren

Oh Window Shopping

Hey guys, so I just wanted to give you a heads up about the Beautiful Mess giveaway. Annnndddd, if I were gonna choose one thing, I do believe that it would be this lovely number. Can you say summer lovin'?
Happened so faaaaassssst!
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Have a excellent night my darlings! Tomorrow is Wednesday huzzah!
Love,
Maren

V-Day

Image via Alexandra Grecco

       I'm about to talk about Valentine's Day and use it as a metaphor for change and how change is good. Don't hate.
       So, I know a lot of people hate this holiday, they feel like its a way for pop culture to force its material goods upon the unsuspecting populous, or create a standard of how to "prove" ones love, by which men are judged harshly by their lady friends, or it puts too much value on those engaged in a relationship and doesn't address the wonderfulness that being single can hold, OR perhaps you just feel like its a goddamn cliche. (You hipster you.) (Just kidding.) (Forreals, it is one of the biggest cliches pretty much ever.)
        But this is how I see it: Valentine's Day is what you make of it. I saw somewhere on the internet that one guys girlfriend had some sort of vendetta against Valentine's Day, so they had a threesome instead of going out to dinner. That's cool. Each to her own and all that. And if your boobear (what up Kristin+Danielle ) made you a candlelit dinner and professed their undying love to you, thats fantastic too. Do what makes you happy friends.
        Now, onto the metaphor. Last year, I was sick on Valentine's Day. It was totally awesome you guys. Totally.
Except that it actually was, in a way, awesome. Because when I woke up with an 100 degree fever and a battering ram in my head and crawled walked out of my bedroom, still in pajamas at 1:53 in the afternoon, I saw red roses in the hallway. Red roses, and homemade sugar cookies, and a Valentine's Day mug with my favorite tea bags sitting next to it, and a card from my boyfriend of the time. Like I said, awesome.
        This year, I am not dating said boy. I am dating a new, wonderful boy. And this boy brought me conversation hearts and kisses on Valentine's Day, and we went to a coffee shop and drank chai for three hours. It was blissful, and I had so much fun.
Conclusion: Change is good, and Valentine's Day is fun. Accept change and beautiful things can come out of that. Promise.

And now:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Facebook is addictive
and so are you

(Like it?)
I am off to enjoy a three day weekend, I hope you have a fantastic Friday,
see y'all later,
Maren
ps. Conversation hearts FOR THE WIN

Oh, hey there

HEY YOU GUYS.
What have you been up to lately? Its been too long.
Any who, down to business. I won't apologize for being MIA, as I've been havin' a damn good time doing it (more on that later), but I did want to stop in a say, hello, and give you some fun internet things to troll around on.
First of all,
Ellen, talkin' about stuff. Shit just got real. Here. 
THIS love story. I would like that someday, and perchance someone popped into my head when I read this, but only time will tell
Sarah Kay. Rad rad rad rad rad. This is also a beautiful poem by that beautiful girl
This camera. Wish-listing much maren?
Applications to these schools: one + two, being in the mail, tomorrow.
And lastly, the launch of a for-teens-by-teens online magazine that I have been collaborating on. Check it.
Well darlings its late and my alarm clock rings early. And loudly.
Goodnight y'all.
~m.

Ack

Ack,
You guys, lets face it, I'm a terrible blogger. I can't blog consistently, and I while I don't like to blog without photos, I don't own a digital camera. Not a good mix.
THAT SAID, I will blog whenever I have something to talk about! Like this photo!
I love this. Contra dancing is my favorite and that techno contra night, with that boy, was probably one of the funnest experiences I've had as of late. My cheeks are sore from smiling. I hope you find something blissful this weekend,
All my love,
Maren